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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?